


Hate and Love and a Baby

by Kajune



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Family, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Minor Canonical Character(s), Mpreg, Original Character(s), Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:26:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4395347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajune/pseuds/Kajune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo and Izaya's passionate hatred for each other has twisted into rough sex, the first resulting in something that won't let them break up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It stings, more than touching a boiling hot kettle, the cut upon his hand. It's not fresh, but the pain continues to linger and keep him remembering, how he ended up with a clear, straight cut along the palm of his left hand.

There's more cuts, all across his body, and some are fairly old. There's even a cut by his lip, but those cuts upon daily exposed skin are covered up with make up he borrowed from his mother. It did confuse her why he asked for something like that, but it's better than getting asked constantly why he looks like he got showered with knives.

_No._

Only one knife did this to him.

Each and every cut and fading mark on his body, were all received by the same blade. In return, these very hands have left marks on the person who gave him such reminders...of what their relationship has become.

Deciding he should just wrap this up, knowing he doesn't have to call Shinra and hear his fussy complaints, since he was taught how to speed up the healing process of these wounds. The only problem is, by doing the mending himself, he is reminded more clearly why they got there.

By Shinra, he can just mumble in his face about nothing, and hear the same nonsense in return.

Each time a deep cut is left on his skin, he is forced to stare at it and growl bitterly at the vivid memories that follow.

This reached its worse when he had to mend a cut uncomfortably on his 'thing'.

Finally back out of the bathroom, with make up properly applied on his face and neck and hands, Shizuo walks over to his double bed, since a single bed doesn't work for what he now does nearly every day and only because it wasn't paid with his own money, he is able to enjoy the benefits of it.

Resting upon the light-colored sheets, are the remaining pieces of his bartender uniform.

He dresses himself, adding the white shirt and the vest and the belt and the socks and once again forgetting to replace his bowtie, after it was cruelly cut from his neck and left to be stomped on as he attempted to avenge its demise.

He's probably going to get bombarded with questions concerning it, but at least people won't be looking at him with dread.

Just curiosity.

Now _that_ , he can handle.

All the while he covers himself in extra layers of clothing, his eyes barely lose sight of the picture frame on his bedside table. A favorite photograph of his is on display there, taken on a day in which he was mixed with two emotions : bewilderment and intense happiness.

Giving it one last look, one accompanied by a genuinely soft smile, Shizuo heads out, glad not to forget his keys before locking the front door.

* * *

Soaked up to his forearms, leaving out his knees, his neck and his face, Izaya tries to relax himself in his large and expensive bathtub, but feels he can't do so as he always does, not with the aching bite mark on the back of his neck, or the bruises that decorate his slightly pale skin rather beautifully.

Much of it is revenge for numerous cuts he gave to a certain someone.

The bite on the neck is for killing said someone's bowtie.

He's not angry, nor really offended that he's covered in sore marks, but he's simply annoyed at himself for allowing so many punches to hit him this time. Those that are on his body right now are all fresh, the old ones long gone due to good reflexes. The sole exception are the bruises on his hips, made anew each time he loses himself to desire...

...and let's Shizuo take him roughly.

This is a fundamental part of their relationship now, something that has drilled itself into their burning animosity for each other and forced them to feel, not only hatred upon sight but also arousal and an undeniable need to touch and kiss and taste each other in a way lovers do.

They do not love each other, however.

The only reason they perform sexual intercourse with each other and not with someone they could properly lust for, is because they both acknowledge that there **IS** no one else.

There is no affection during any encounter, only biting words and a desire to hurt the other to the point of bleeding and hopefully death, the latter no longer true thanks to one unexpected outcome.

They began sleeping with each other when trying to deny their attraction became impossible, but they didn't think what would come as a result of it.

It takes a full hour before Izaya is out of the bathtub with a childish pout, not at all satisfied after sitting still in warm water, with the crushed hope of getting rid the achiness and the pain that has been disrupting him from his daily work and human observation, or what is generally called 'spying' by others.

Though instead of marching straight to his computer - after putting back on his signature black clothing - he enters his bedroom, towards a crib, where a little baby is looking around innocently at his surroundings.

His small, brown eyes turn to him upon sight, and Izaya responds by reaching down and picking him up, to cradle him lovingly as he always does.

This week, Izaya gets to take care of his and Shizuo's son. No point in asking how they came to conceive this child, but how Izaya gave birth can be explained by one, extremely proud Shinra. This child is the reason, why no matter how destructive their relationship is or how much they continue to hate each other, they cannot break up.

Shizuo's parents, who were told of the miracle, even object to the idea.

A child should live with both parents.

Parents who are together.

In the words of Shizuo's mother, Namiko, that is parents who will bond eventually.

Izaya doubts her wishes will be fulfilled, though at times Shizuo does appear willing to test the possibility. They both love their son very much, and care for him more than themselves. Together, they named him Hikaru, meaning 'light'.

For he is the brightest thing in their hearts.

Placing his son back in his Shinjuku crib, one colored red as opposed to Shizuo's blue one in Ikebukuro, Izaya bids the boy farewell, before going back to work. Among his numerous computer files, is the first ever photograph taken of Hikaru. On the day of his birth, Shizuo took a beautiful picture of him, as Izaya cradled him in his arms, his eyes having just opened to see the world, and his odd parents.

This same picture, exists on Shizuo's bedside table.

And it is the only one they share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is something random I wrote late at night. I WAS inspired by a story I recently read, and I have LONGED to write an Mpreg story, but there is nothing serious about this particularly piece of work. Regardless, I am willing (and eager) to hear all your thoughts about it. 
> 
> Enjoy~


	2. Chapter 2

Thin, yet strong arms wrap themselves around his waist, holding him, almost protectively, while keeping him nearly hovering over the ground. The other thing keeping him from hitting the concrete beneath their feet, is the deeply-imbedded flesh which continues - to his great pleasure - thrusting in and out of him, causing him to bleed yet moan in desire.

**He wants this.**

There has never been a day when Orihara Izaya considered sex with his rival, Heiwajima Shizuo, as a possibility let alone a pleasant one. He even promised himself to a client knowing such a sweat-clad overweight man would satisfy him more than letting a _beast_ take him into its arms.

He doesn't know for certain when this thought changed, when did he begin lusting for a man whose very scent usually made him want to puke.

All the original responses he would have upon being near Shizuo, erupted into nothingness when one moment of hesitance, got him cornered and pinned to a filthy wall. A seemingly drunk Shizuo, who was surprisingly nearby at such a late hour, obviously took this opportunity to beat him, hit him. Izaya cruelly attempted to do the same, intended to, intended the very objective of slicing that bartender suit to pieces and scarring the skin...

...he's dreamed more times than anything of skinning away from its bones.

The eruption, the loss of his malice - _their_ malice - happened in the midst of this struggle, this act meant to spell their long-time animosity for each other, mainly in the form of cuts by a knife and bruises by fists. As if both were intoxicated, their eyes began to linger on each other as breathes mingled as thoughts not meant to be there swirled, twirled inside them and somehow they knew, they were thinking the same thing:

The other person...was extremely handsome.

Hands soon switched from causing damage to removing clothes, not by tearing but by (through the residue of their patience) correctly undoing each item until skins touched, until hands could feel what no other being had the chance nor right to. Izaya's legs quickly found themselves tied around the slim waist of his enemy, eager and ready to be fucked up against the wall.

Shizuo wants him, _god_ Shizuo wants him and he can feel it in the way he keeps gazing at him, desire boiling in those caramel eyes and driving Izaya to the brick of insanity.

Preparation came, and after saliva-soaked fingers left Shizuo began pounding into him, stealing his virginity and with full consent. Not a single complaint has left them, as they each follow their dark need...of taking each other.

Switch blade dropped, his jacket dangling from his arms, his shirt rolled up and legs bare for the whole world to see, Izaya is defenseless and exposed and completely taken control of, but such a disgusting thought, despite his years of avoiding it to come true, whether it was with Shizuo or some dirty hoodlum, for now it is everything he's ever wanted. To be dominated by Shizuo and feel his possessiveness, feel him rub against his insides and leave kisses along his jaw and neck.

It gives a feeling so wonderful he can barely describe it.

Shizuo himself has his bowtie by his shoes and every upper body piece of clothing unbuttoned, revealing a chest Izaya shamelessly licked and sucked as Shizuo did the same to his own.

It's an embarrassing moment to think about, or even speak of. Two rivals who exist as if born to hate each other and no less, have come together to commit this unspeakable act. Even after fluids spill, the two continue to kiss and lust for more.

The need is so overwhelming...they come to realize they can hardly resist it.

Months later, and they continue to do this.

Though never, not for a fleeting, tiny moment, do Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo feel that tender feeling of true love and honest affection for one another. They admitted it, to each other's faces before they parted ways on that very night, that they - each other's enemy - would rather burn alive than to fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really planning to add another chapter to this, but I suddenly got the urge to write something and...well, here you go~!


	3. Chapter 3

Innocent eyes gaze up at him, their brownish color identical to his own. Through purple lens, he returns the look, but with great affection. Placing the milk carton next to him, he brings his now free hand to gently stroke the baby's cheek.

Something akin to a purr slips the boy's lips, before his eyes close and as though he isn't as snuggled up to his father as he can be, he snuggles up some more.

Shizuo's eyes remain focused on him.

His greatest joy.

Four months ago, his arms and hands would have been shivering, out of pure fear of touching something so delicate and what had been frighteningly small, but now, he is fully able to cradle this little boy within his thin arms and whisper promises of joy and protection wherever they go together.

It's not because he's better at controlling his strength that he can carry the boy, but because his fear of hurting him was so intense, his strength disappears whenever this pale, soft skin touches him.

While with his son, Shizuo is the closest he's ever been to being a normal human.

Even his temper won't rise.

Which is why, he doesn't carry the boy out often, opting to find empty parks or secluded places to enjoy his son's existence. The public shouldn't know about his recent parenthood, musn't see the boy as a potential hostage or celebrity; that would be unsafe. Like today, Shizuo is with him, all alone in a small, rarely populated park, himself on a bench with a slightly orange sky above.

He admits, despite the effort he puts in keeping the boy safe, he at first found the whole idea of becoming a father rather repulsive, the thought of a monstrous man who hasn't even got a tiny bit of experience in romance, raising a child of his own, seemed utterly disturbing.

Horror truly consumed him when Izaya suddenly revealed the pregnancy.

It stung more when, by that time, Izaya was already seven months pregnant and long past a safe abortion. In fact, since his pregnancy was a greater phenomenon than the existences of dullahans or shinigamis (according to Shinra), abortion at any stage was risky. Shizuo did argue how he once learned, that the first few months was alright.

Things turned sour when Izaya admitted he didn't know he was pregnant until the fourth month.

Forced to a raise a child he never expected, Shizuo was unsurprisingly restless during the whole period before the birth. He shook often, lost his temper often, and even curled up into a ball and cried often. He wasn't feeling miserable because he didn't want to have kids, but he feared that kids concieved from his own DNA would possess his cursed strength, and thus suffer the loneliness he went through.

...and still suffers today.

He also believed, that because of the daily lives of the child's parents were far from normal, the baby would experience a dreadful life, full of danger and little to no joy. It took nearly forever for his parents (and Celty) to comfort him.

His mood didn't recover until the day of the birth.

On that day, a love so great washed away his worries, and filled him with confidence.

He may have never wanted the child, mainly for the sake of the child itself, but the result turned out to be pleasant. His and Izaya's son was born healthy, is easy to take care of, and seems to love his parents with all his heart. He once threw a tantrum when 24 hours had him seeing nothing but the faces of his paternal grandparents.

He only calmed down when Izaya stormed into the nursery and took him into his arms.

Which is why, they are to swap between each other, and care for him once a week each. It's difficult, to be honest, sharing something so dear to one's heart with someone one hates passionately. Sure, they have sex, have wild sex that is too embarrassing to talk about and too arousing to imagine, but that has never changed their feelings for each other.

Though Shizuo, out of the love he has for both his mother and his son, has tried, on occassion, to bond with Izaya.

...despite knowing - along with Izaya - that the two of them getting along is like the earth spinning in the opposite direction. Izaya even laughed, in the middle of a crowded street, when Erika had asked if they were finally getting along. He looked silly when he did that, but that goes to show, that he certainly finds the whole idea of being on good terms with the father of his child...ridiculous.

Yet Shizuo continues to try, even if he often ends up hitting Izaya harder than he should, and getting cut deeper than he would like.

At least they agree fully, that the boy now sleeping in his right arm, is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Their sweet, adorable, Hikaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, REALLY didn't plan this to become an actual story, so for now, I'm going to leave it like this.   
> I hope you readers enjoyed this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Shizuo remembers well, the day he first met his son. At the time, the boy was small, surprisingly so, leading even Shinra to get worried. Obviously, this worried Shizuo too, but no matter how much the two friends felt luck slipping from them when the little bundle of life and joy finally arrived, a whole year has proven that their fears were completely unfounded.

Bouncing lightly within his mother's arms, Hikaru is enjoying the view of guests eager and ready to celebrate his birthday. The number of people who know of his existence has boosted, though not including strangers it includes people both Shizuo and Izaya know; in other words, people they can trust.

The older Hikaru gets, the more they can be certain of his survival, and so more people are trusted with the information.

Much of Hikaru's first few months had only his parents, his paternal grandparents, and those present at his birth, which means Shinra and Celty.

Two months later, Tom came to learn the truth, and then Kadota.

The twins, Mairu and Kururi, were kept in the dark longer than expected, for Izaya complained - quite childishly - that Mairu had attempted to kill him with her martial arts while he was pregnant. Though both Shizuo and his mother argued how the girl didn't know what she was doing, Izaya still held the truth from them until the fifth month.

Leading Mairu to make another attempt on his life.

After 12 months, the group of people who know about Hikaru (without adding how or why he was conceived), include Simon, Dennis, Varona, Kasuka, Ruri and the rest of the van gang.

For reasons unknown, Izaya let Anri know too.

Each and every one of these people are at Shinra's apartment, a place fully decorated to accommodate the many guests and to also please the child, who apparently takes more pleasure in staring at said guests than the hard work of his so-called godfather.

Right now, everyone is setting down their presents for the boy and finding a seat for themselves.

Honestly, there might be people outside of this lot who discovered Hikaru, but neither of the boy's parents are willing to find out or even acknowledge this. They want only those in this room to know. There's a chance Izaya's client Shiki knows, or even more likely, his secretary.

Nevertheless, the pair aren't going to investigate and will continue to make sure their son hangs around with only the trusted, that means no color gang leaders and no more than five minutes with the continuously delighted Erika.

The only ones unable to attend, are Izaya's parents.

They have yet to come to terms that their son became a mother, and isn't even married.

Their reason for not coming, is that they're busy, even though they're back in Japan and not overseas. They even asked for photos of the party, according to Namiko. This is almost perfect proof their lack of attendance is on purpose, and all three of their children are displeased about it.

At least Hikaru doesn't appear to miss relatives he only saw once.

Once again, feeling he should act more like a proper father, Shizuo takes the opportunity while most guests are watching his parents bring in the cake, to wrap an arm around his enemy's waist. The raven stiffens at the contact, and he's probably not stabbing him because he's carrying their son.

It's been upsetting Shizuo, truthfully, the lack of affection between them. His sense of duty keeps telling him their animosity needs to stop or things will turn out bad for Hikaru, not least because one of them could end up in the hospital.

Their sex life continues to be as wild as ever, still consisting of rough kisses and inevitable punches and cuts. They never share the facts about it, preferring to keep it to themselves even if it worries those who suspect it. Only once have they gone on a date, and by its conclusion they appeared to only care about each other a tiny bit more.

Less than Shizuo hoped.

To say he's falling in love with Izaya, is probably going too far. There's still so much he hates about Izaya, who ceases not to commit various sins without thinking about their son first. All he keeps saying is he's doing his job, though Shizuo is bloody certain, that scaring the life and spirits out of innocent, teenage girls is not work-related.

The only change he's seen so far, or anyone has, is Izaya's assault on neglectful parents.

While that in particular doesn't disturb Shizuo, he still hates how merciless Izaya can be even if it is out of the love he has for Hikaru. If they are to get along at all, at least one of them needs to change their habits. Shizuo himself has worked hard to control his rage, and according to Tom, he's caused less property damage than ever since he first got the job.

He still however, sends offending gangsters and runaway clients to hospital.

Responding to his mother's call for attention, Shizuo, while keeping his hand almost protectively on Izaya's waist, walks with them towards the cake, where they intend to get the boy to blow out a candle.

Admittedly, and probably in everyone's eyes too, the way Izaya is gesturing the boy to blow the single light blue candle is oddly adorable. He keeps puffing his cheeks and pretending to blow, and for a while, it seems Hikaru is confused, taking the liberty to simply leave a kiss on his mother's cheek than do as he's told.

Shizuo is nearly tempted to do the blowing himself, when suddenly Hikaru understands but blows air right in his mother's face.

Half the room tries not to laugh.

Without getting angry, Izaya points at the candle, and in that moment, Hikaru leans over and blows.

The flame vanishes.

The room erupts in loud clapping, lacking only Izaya's who returns his smiling son's kiss.

Namiko proceeds the celebration with removing the candle and bringing out a knife. Like an expert, she cuts the cake smoothly, and places the first slice on a plate Celty has just brought. Celty then sets the first piece in front of a chair Izaya is to sit on with Hikaru.

Only then the contact between the boy's parents is broken.

The next piece, smaller, goes to Shizuo, and the rest of the cake is given out in accordance to one's relation to the boy. The last piece lands on Shinra, and no one misses the snicker Izaya lets out when the guy makes a fuss for being put last when all he's ever wanted, is to mean something to the boy he keeps calling 'a miracle'.

Peace arrives when everyone begins eating. Izaya is careful with the tiny pieces he feeds Hikaru and only stops when the boy shakes his head, and opts to snuggle up to mama, leaving papa who is right next to him to sulk, openly.

During pregnancy, Izaya got addicted to sweet foods, enabling him to eat the rest of the cake without throwing up.

It's an ice-cream cake, very delicious, judging by the sounds the guests are making as each bite melts in their mouths. Celty is the only one left out, but she did a lot of the preparation so her contribution, as stated on her phone, is enough for her.

Even though her 'husband' keeps trying to teasingly feed her.

Speaking of which, Shizuo's mother keeps looking at him oddly, and when she finally points to the doctor, Shizuo's face heats up unexpectedly. _Seriously?_ Gazing at the male more focused on his son than everything in his surroundings, Shizuo - out of the love he has for his mother, again - picks up a spoon full and nudges Izaya in the side.

When red orbs turn to him, Shizuo has said spoon full an inch from the raven's face.

They hardly notice a few, unwanted pair of eyes on them.

Shizuo's eyes, however, notice a blush on his enemy's face, probably the same shade as his own. Gasps fill the room, mostly from Erika, when Izaya takes the mouthful of cake in between his lips. Both faces start burning when Hikaru laughs with utmost delight at the rare display of affection.

Following the otherwise silent eating, Namiko - or more like the host - stands up and asks, "Whose present should we open first?" It surprises no one when Izaya raises his arm instantly, and since he **is** the mother, no one complains. Namiko heads for the stack and searches for the present she remembers by color.

Scarlet wrapping, adorned with pink hearts, and a white ribbon.

In less than a minute, Namiko is walking back to the pair with the box, and places it before the wide eyes of her grandson. Shizuo watches as the boy reaches forward to caress it, and when Izaya whispers a, "Do you like it?", the boy laughs as if he understood.

Finally able to hold his own child, Shizuo is more than relieved to find Izaya lifting him off his own lap and onto Shizuo's. Painfully, the boy won't even look at him.

The blond pouts.

Most watch as Izaya unwraps his own gift, and after he lifts the lid off the white box inside, different colored balloons escape, each touching the ceiling while surprising all. Upon each one, are different words, sentences, all meant for the boy currently staring at them with wonder-filled eyes.

_I will always love you_

_You are my precious_

_Mummy will never forget you_

And _Happy Birthday_ are among the many messages decorating the ceiling. Hikaru is too young to understand any of them, but when Shizuo looks up at the red orbs focused on their son, he can tell, with utmost certainty, that every word came from the bottom of the raven's heart and nothing has ever mattered more to Izaya than Hikaru.

Izaya leans forward to place kisses all over the boy's face, smooching him very lovingly and stunning anyone inexperienced with the sight of a caring Izaya.

Shizuo can barely contain how happy he is, to see the mother of his child, commonly known for his cruelty, to care so much for Hikaru. They've raised him together for a year, but hardly does Shizuo get to see the side that he admittedly likes about the other. Kindness. Dedication. Maybe that's why, he is willing to make real his mother's dream of a positive bond between him and Izaya.

Maybe, someday, he can love Izaya, as they love their son.

When the boy laughs again, as if blushing from the overload of affection, Izaya whispers words to him that makes Shizuo more than confident....of a day he shall say those exact same words....to Izaya.

"Happy birthday, my sweet, amazing, star of hope."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pray this chapter turned out alright. This was written during a powerful writer's block. Oh my.  
> As usual, I hope you all enjoyed~


End file.
